I have a confession to make. Sometimes, for a few minutes at least, I watch reality TV shows. Not because I enjoy them – to be honest I generally find them baffling and painful – but because, once I’ve flipped through to the channel I find it hard to look away, like watching a train wreck or a house burning. If I learn anything from these shows, it is generally how not to behave; I figure as long as my life bears no resemblance to those of the “Real Housewives” or the heinous “Bridezillas” I can’t be doing too bad.
It was “Bridezilla” that inspired this post, in fact, a show that on one hand mocks the ill-mannered soon-to-be-wives while on the other practically exults in their shameful behavior, exhorting the audience to stay-tuned through the next commercial break with a chipper and laudatory description of the shame to come. Wives-to-be scream at everyone around them, whine and throw tantrums about not getting enough attention, and alienate and verbally abuse their fiances. I don’t, as it happens, believe that they are all truly that bad; after all, they’re getting their 15 minutes of fame on a show about awful brides, so of course they will exaggerate for the camera, and the show’s editors will frame things to make them look far worse. The point is they are willing, even happy, to appear on TV at their worst – and behave as though it is okay and even empowering to be so socially maladjusted (they never apologize, or appear embarrassed; instead, they brazenly justify their outbursts, blaming everyone but themselves). One of the things that fascinates me about this show is that it is played on “WE,” the Women’s Entertainment channel. Is this, then what women really want? Is this how we want our daughters to behave, in full public view? Is this who American women are becoming?
I have a proposal for a show that would be truly empowering for both women and men. It’s a simple idea, and certainly nothing new (Pygmalion did it first). What if we were to take people with appalling behavior and turn them into ladies and gentlemen? I’d watch that. I’d love to see the angry, self-hating harridan who dresses like a whore because she believes sluttiness is a virtue, and who thinks that the number of men she sleeps with is a sign of her value as a woman (though deep down she loathes herself for it), learn that the real power of women lies in good manners, self-respect (as opposed to self-esteem, which is worthless), and some degree of modesty. I don’t mean she must be turned into a total prude, but rather into someone who understands that moderation and class are far more empowering and beneficial than crassness and lack of self-control. Someone who draws people to her by being a pleasure to be around, instead of demanding attention like a spoiled toddler. Someone who is more than her anger; more than her vagina, tits and ass; more than an appeal to the most base instincts of her fellow men and women and more than just a pretty face. In short, a Lady.
Somehow, I don’t think anyone will take me up on my proposal, mores the pity.
-o.o-
